“... Be a Beautiful Woman.”

***This post is from a travel journal I wrote in March 2008 and shared on Facebook. I'm sharing it again here in response to the Dove Real Beauty Sketches ad, and the statistic they quoted.***

"...only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful"

“Is it difficult to be a beautiful woman?” this deliciously dark-skinned Sicilian asked me with a smile at the farewell party he & his friends were hosting for us. I remember responding with a smile in my somewhat alcohol-induced state, “In this country? Sometimes.”

In the memory of that moment, I am at first amused at my own lack of humility...

And yet, why? Why must I be embarrassed by my (honest) first reaction? Why must we hide behind Canadian niceties and humility? For Italians – French & Spaniards as well – to confidently acknowledge one's own beauty is not seen as arrogant. It is simply being confident and... well, beautiful! It is a sign of self-respect and self-esteem. It acknowledges the true and unique beauty of all women (or all people – they have some very beautiful men in those countries as well!), no matter their shape, size, colour or accessories. Why can't we profess our own beauty here, in North America, without the worry of being seen as arrogant, snobby or just plain rude by our fellow citizens?

Well, let me try:

I am confident enough in myself, and have enough self-respect to admit that most days I am able to look in the mirror and see a pretty, young woman reflected there. And I do believe the few guys who have genuinely looked me in the eye and told me I was beautiful. I believe they found beauty in what they saw.

More than that, I believe that the true beauty of a woman is not in her physical appearance alone. But in the way she carries herself. In the self-confidence she eludes, the self-respect she maintains, the contentedness that surrounds her being. It can be and is often communicated in the awareness of proper hygiene, clothing styles to suit the body-type, hair-styles and make-up application that enhance the features. And yes, there are some women who have been blessed with a natural beauty that not everyone can claim. I have been able to embrace my own over the past few years as my self-confidence has grown, and I have learned to carry myself in that way.

But true beauty shines through the eyes, is heard in the laughter, and felt from the smile of a friendly personality. It is experienced in the over-all content, fun-loving, intelligent, peaceful energy flowing through her.

I have not always had this confidence in myself. I have not always possessed these qualities. And I still have days where it's a tough, uphill struggle. But I think, and hope, these are qualities that people are now experiencing when they comment on my beauty (whether they could name it as such or not). It is a beauty I try to exude, and am continually aspiring to...

I'm sure this Sicilian guy was trying to give me a compliment with his question. I'm sure he didn't intend for it to spiral me into thought. All I can say is that I enjoy dressing up, putting on make-up and doing my hair. I even enjoy the attention, the double-takes and smiles – sometimes even the off-hand whistles and tasteful comments – from guys (or girls). I enjoy the occasional perks that come with an attractive smile and personality; a little extra ice-cream in my cone, a free drink, etc. I enjoy it as recognition of my natural beauty and the time & effort I spent enhancing it; and perhaps even more so for the peaceful, friendly energy I hope I exude most of the time.